Down old 45
by bigred0603
Summary: An attempt of a comedic take of walking dead. Imagine if the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia found their way into Walking Dead and started messing around. It's got the language of a Quenten Terentino (Sorry if I misspelled that) movie so viewer discretion is advised. Enjoy
1. introduction

Introduction

And then Dead People Came Back to Life

The small town of Corinth Mississippi was a town you probably never knew existed. Indeed its only purpose was to provide a McDonalds or Motel 8 for travelers going down highway 72 toward Memphis. The only thing Corinth is famous for is slug burgers and a railroad crossing, which is a common thing everywhere else in the world. Then dead people came back to life and Corinth had the biggest bustle it's seen in several decades. The town was in a panic for several weeks and believe it or not it had an important part to play in the early zombie outbreak. You see contrary to popular belief only the south was affected by the outbreak of walkers and it didn't take long for the government to set up a barricade around the south along several state lines, one of those lines was Tennessee which humble Corinth rested on and during the first week of blockade it was the only site where non-infected people could cross over. One mile away from this crossing is where our story begins with two friends who found each other by chance during the outbreak and decided to hide together in the same house in a completely non-homosexual way. These two friends thought the best plan of action was to wait until the storm died down and then move north for no reason other than to see the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately for them they waited so long that they missed the opportunity to cross the contamination line and so they find themselves stuck in humble Corinth. It could be worse though they could be stuck in Georgia that place got fucked up.

Walk Down Old 45


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bacey

"Well shit." Rick exclaimed looking out of the boarded window to his house which he had barricaded like a fortress to keep out the walkers. Rick stood at average height and a little under average build he was ill shaven and in rags as he had been holed up in his makeshift fortress for three days.

"What is it?" Earl exclaimed from the back of the living room that had become a makeshift observation post. Earl was a slightly skinnier than average person and slightly taller to. Compared to Rick he was at least a head taller but he made Rick look like a beefed up pro-wrestler.

"Outside, zombies, they found someone." Earl took a seat on the couch that had been moved up to the glass front door and looked out another peephole in their makeshift barricade. Outside was a middle aged woman running down the street with what looked like a child in her arms and a pistol pointed in the direction that she came from. She started looking down the street for some form of shelter from the horror that waited behind her. "Don't come here, don't come here." Rick said under his breath. She ran to the house across the street, a dark wooden house with welcoming decorations in the front yard and a garage door open leading inside. The place still looked like the nice old couple lived there were still alive, unfortunately for this woman, they we dead and their rotting corpse awaited her inside.

"Wow sucks to be her," Earl commented "at least she didn't come over here."

"Amen to that." The two leaved the couch and walked toward the back door. The once nice living room had been converted into and observation post with the front part of the room facing the street barricaded in a somewhat professional manner with boards over the windows and doors. The back part of the living room which faced the back yard was left very poorly defended with only one or two boards n each window and several tables and pieces of furniture blocking all but one door from opening. It was painfully obvious that the two had boarded the front of the house with energy and pride, but by the time they got to the back they had grown bored of fortifying and just decided to finish as fast as possible and just pile furniture up to the celing instead of board the windows and doors.

"It's a nice day outside isn't it?" Rick casually commented as several gunshots and screams of terror could be heard outside as the woman discovered the zombie couple inside of her temporary sanctuary.

"Seen better." The sounds of hungry walkers could now be heard as the woman attempted to exit out through the front of the house and failed miserably.

"You're never pleased are you?" A few gunshots and a final scream followed by silence as the woman finally joined the ranks of the walking dead. "Hey did you ever finish siphoning the fuel from your car into mine?"

"What! I don't know how to siphon fuel!" Earl exclaimed genuinely mad as Rick had not told Earl to siphon fuel.

"What do you mean you don't know how to siphon fuel I thought everybody knew how to do that."

"Oh okay genius then you siphon the fuel."

"Do I look like a fuckin' mechanic?"

"What the hell kind of double standard is that?" The two continued to argue as the walkers from across the street started moving toward the house overhearing the two arguing; fortunately they were attacking the adequately fortified front of the house and therefore couldn't break through. Meanwhile a figure approached the back of the house and started ramming his way through the mediocre fortifications, but Rick and Earl were too busy arguing to notice until he burst through the glass and scooted the upturned table across the hardwood floor and entered the living room and pointed a double barrel shotgun at the two arguing.

"Don't move." Said the man in a calm voice, but he was drowned out by Earl and Rick who were still arguing over who and who not has the ability to siphon gasoline. The man decided to shout louder and after five attempts eventually got Earl to notice him. In a panic Earl threw Rick into the stranger and he went flying into the stranger shouting obscenities all the while. When Rick hit the stranger which gave him a moment to recognize who it was before they both went falling to the ground the strangers shotgun firing off both slugs into Rick's priceless antique vase which he kept in the middle of the most vulnerable room in the house atop a table that could easily have been knocked over by a small rodent.

"Oh hey Robby, look Earl it's Robby." Earl snapped out of his panic and general greetings of the three high school friends were exchanged. Robby was slightly shorter, but thicker than Rick with a curly haired afro. "Hey Robby do you know how to siphon gas."

"Yeah sure, I mean who doesn't know how to siphon gas?"

"Yeah who could be that stupid?" Rick laughed nervously.

"Hey guys," Earl chimed in fearfully. "I think we may have a problem in the backyard."

"Don't worry about it we'll be fine as long as Robby didn't break down the barricade getting in here."

"Uhhhhhh."

"Are you fucking kidding me Robby?" Rick screamed. "We had an open fucking door not three feet away from where you came in."

"Maybe we should get the guns." Earl said as a walker was breaking through the last of the rubble to get into the house. "Yeah let's go get the guns."


End file.
